69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I believe in your delicious
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
