Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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