So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
