I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
