Your tits are I can't wait for
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
