Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
