Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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