you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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