omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
