hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
