ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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