Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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