This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Found your dick twin last night
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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