If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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