My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
