So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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