you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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