So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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