babies were throwing up all over the place
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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