Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
