I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
