god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
