4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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