are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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