I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have fence marks all over my body
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
