Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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