I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
