It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
