the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
