I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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