I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
