I think my vagina is haunted
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
