I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
