drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
