i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize