I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
