Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
