pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
