I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Come on in and take your pants off
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