I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize