I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
