Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
