I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
