she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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