She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
