whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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