he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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