I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
