How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
