watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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