would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize