just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
