kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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