can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
