They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
