Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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