carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
