we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Randomize
