i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
