He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
