all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
