I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
