the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
