i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
