Pappa wants mamma naked
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize