So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
