Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
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when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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