You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
