when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
