capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
