I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Come on in and take your pants off
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